Neighbors to War
It took me over three months to finally put out this personal essay about my connections and experiences in Ukraine. Although some of it was due to a busy schedule wrapping up my Fulbright teaching experience, my own studies, and travels, I also was worried that the tone would not be right or might not go over well as another Westerner tries to butt in on a conflict they do not know enough about. But as our own independence day came and went, trying to put the problems of the United States into context, here I am turning my attention to a country fighting hard for their own independence, and allowing the reader to make their own judgements of where my head and heart is.
To begin, I had the pleasure of visiting Kyiv, Ukraine in November, 2021. After living in smalltown Lithuania for a few months, it satisfied my longing for a big city and all that comes with it. From the diversity of culture and food, to the buzzing energy in the depths of the metro system to the top of their high-rises, in all senses, Kyiv was a lively, charming, and quite unique city. One thing that stood out to me was the architecture of the city. I have not seen anything like it before for the fact that almost no building resembled the ones next to it. The city’s history under the Russian Empire and Soviet occupation to having to rebuild after the Second World War and attempting to modernize in the age of globalization has created a fascinating mashup of architectural styles and city planning.
On this trip I had the pleasure of meeting some wonderful people. My close friend from my Fulbright program, whom I traveled with, was able to connect with an old friend from Kyiv who graciously offered us to stay with him for the week. Not only were we able to save money by crashing on a couch, but had direct access to a local and now a friend who showed us the ins and outs of his city. When the invasion began he did not leave Kyiv and was not able to meet with his family who lived too far to reunite. Everyone I spoke to from Kyiv had high spirits and even though the early invasion of certain regions has transformed into something far worse, spirits have remained remarkably high.
As we know, millions of Ukrainians have been forced to leave their homes and seek refuge in safer parts of the country or abroad. One such individual that I have kept close contact with since meeting is my friend Masha. Masha is a 22 year old IT worker for an American company and has freedom to work remotely when she wants. Living in Kyiv her whole life, she never imagined having to leave under these circumstances. Masha met up with her two parents, older sister, younger brother, and grandmother and went to stay in a house together outside Kyiv. They slept in the basement, covered the windows and tried to fulfill their remote work duties each day, although circumstances made it difficult not to focus their attention on the news. Playing card games was a favorite family activity to pass the time.
When circumstances started to deteriorate further, they made the decision to travel to safer territory. Unfortunately, not all family members were on board with the decision. Masha’s grandmother refused to leave. She understood the imminent danger, but could not bear the idea of having to leave her home. She also had just received eye surgery one week prior, which made traveling difficult. The need for certain medicine and consultation would be difficult to receive no matter where they ended up. In those first two weeks, Masha’s family lived in four different places before settling in a hotel in a small ski resort village called Bukovel. They stayed there for about a month in close quarters without a kitchen before moving once again to a more populated area once an apartment opened up for them. Now as more areas become safer, the whole family has just arrived back to Kyiv to reunite with Masha’s grandmother and her older sister who had already gone back weeks prior. Although they are happy to be back in their homes, they worry they will need to flee once again as rockets coming from Russia and now Belarus continue to barrage their city.
Masha described the checkpoints her family had to pass while moving through every town, over every bridge and region. Most of them are manned by territorial defense units that anyone can join. They check documents and cars and are armed with heavy machine guns. Over 100,000 Ukrainian men and women have joined the territorial defense, a testament of people’s dedication to the safety and security of their fellow citizens. There is a unified sense across the country of wanting to help in any way possible. Some join territorial defense groups, volunteer as medical assistance, or help deliver goods to those impacted by war. Others like Masha understand that what she can do to help the cause is continuing to work and pay taxes in order to keep the government funded and economy afloat, and donate to relevant charities when she can.
When I asked what are the most important things for foreigners to understand about the war, Masha told me it is important to understand the dishonesty and cruelty that Russia is inflicting. She wants people to realize that there is a historic pattern to this behavior by Russia and believes they are not concerned with the war crimes they are committing such as not ensuring civilian safety zones, targeting buildings like hospitals, shopping malls, and apartment complexes. Atrocities that I do not need to go into detail have been well-documented and the Russian military and government will have to pay for these horrific crimes. It is also important to understand the scale of this war with Russia and Ukraine being the two largest countries on the European continent. This makes this the largest scale land invasion in Europe since World War II.
While living in Lithuania it was important for me to also get the perspective from Lithuanians about the war because I have never seen this kind of solidarity for another country as I have here. The threat of Russia has always hung over the heads of these independent countries that once were occupied by the Soviet Union. Not only is it devastating to see a country with a similar history and geography be needlessly destroyed by a common antagonist, there is also self interest in play as many believe Putin’s ambitions do not end with Ukraine. Could the Baltic states be next if Ukraine were to fall? There is always a danger when a delusional dictator has the audacity to try to bring back an extinct empire and way of life.
I remember trying to reassure my friends and colleagues that as members of the European Union and NATO alliance, attacking Lithuania would be a grave mistake, but I quickly learned my comments were not very helpful. I was reminded that at the first sign of danger I would be put on a plane home by the US Embassy instead of having to stock up on iodine tablets and gas masks. The reality is that there would be little point escaping to Latvia and the majority of Lithuanians would not be able to make it to the Polish border, so even with the help of NATO countries, citizens would have to endure the horrors of war. I have no idea what people here are going through emotionally as friends, family, and neighbors are put at risk by an all-too-familiar foe. Thoughts of war, memories of pain and suffering have crept into the collective consciousness of nations across Europe.
In my small town of Mazeikiai, we welcomed over two hundred Ukrainian refugees including six new students at the school I taught at. My community has done a wonderful job of expressing their solidarity not only through words, but with actions as they have scrambled to find housing and jobs for Ukrainians, have organized volunteer efforts such as clothing and food drives, and donated their time and money to organizations like the Red Cross and BlueYellow.
Many Lithuanians also have personal connections to Ukraine such as family and friends studying or working there. One teacher at my school received this text message on March 12 from her friend Tonya who had to hide in a basement with her son and mother with no electricity for some time: “Russian soldiers in my village now. I am so scared.” Tonya was eventually evacuated to a safer area, but she witnessed Russian soldiers destroying and robbing houses in her village. Her husband and father continue to fight for Ukraine’s independence, but have lost their nephew to the war.
Although expectations of a Ukrainian victory have become increasingly hopeful, there is no assumption that it will come soon. Younger generations in Lithuania have expressed a bit of helplessness similar to how the COVID situation played out. There was an initial feeling of shock and the urge to do anything possible to help, but at the end of the day the conflict is out of our hands.
There is also pity for the people of Russia and even their soldiers for the lies and propaganda they have been fed from their tyrannical government. The amount of censored media and information in Russia has created a population living in a state of ignorance or at the very least, a state of survival. As trust in institutions deteriorates all across the Western world, this has already been the case in Eastern Europe for decades. As my friend Aušra who studies political science in Lithuania puts it, “People living under repressive regimes learn to adapt, which serves as a survival mechanism, without actually believing what they are told. To them politics is performative, they say and do what is expected from them, hoping this will let them have a calm and decent life. So most of them do know what is actually going on in Ukraine, they have an inherent feeling that the government is lying to them.” While pity exists for Russian citizens, their carefully cultivated culture of the imperialist mentality and feelings of superiority make it hard for many to sympathize with those that have kept these values flourishing.
In the US we deal with other cultural influences that inhabit the hearts and minds of Americans in a similar way. The question of sympathy is a difficult one when it comes to those that believe and even violently act on the lies and rhetoric of extremists. Living in a semi-functioning democracy and having access to proper information to counter the propaganda makes most of us simply feel anger and disgust with Americans living in what seems to be a fantasy world. As we all have witnessed, human circumstances and events have the ability to tap into certain emotions that undoubtedly open larger questions of education, digital literacy, historical and political context, social psychology, and more that can be addressed by experts far more knowledgeable than myself.
There are so many avenues for evil to creep into our lives, but even more that lead to goodness. Contemplating the fragility of democracy and independence is a daunting task, analyzing the human condition even moreso, but listening to our neighbors and learning what we can are the first steps toward understanding. Having been in the classroom now in both the United States and across the Atlantic, I have incredible hope for the future. My students understand the value of acceptance and are capable of navigating the digital world we now live in with care.
